Post by onecooldude on Feb 16, 2007 23:02:23 GMT -5
Why Santa ain't coming to my house
Santa ain't brought me nothing since I took shots at them doggone reindeer. Would have hit them if I hadn't had to dodge Reindeer droppings. A lot bigger than bird turds I can tell you.
Then that fat man in the red suit decided to slide his big butt down the chimney. I tried to tell him not to, but he did anyway. Slid down right into that pot of beans I had cooking over the fire. Sure did make a big brown mess on his purty red suit. Then he sit there, trying to figure out what happened and all that white furry fringe caught fire. So he was running around screaming and yelling about the brown stuff on his red clothes and the fire on the fringe, and I was chasing him trying to get the fire out before he caught the dadburn house on fire. All I had was the fireplace shovel, and I kept slapping at him with the shovel and he kept ducking trying to get away. I don't think he understood that I was just trying to put the fire out.
Well anyway, here we is, chasing each other around in circles, when these little fellars in green showed up. I thought it was Martians, sure nough, but it weren't. It was what they call elves, but I didn't know that at the time. I shot two of them before that fellar in the red suit with bean stains, and singed fringe told me that they was good elves and not to shoot anymore.
Then he stuck his finger in his nose and back up that fireplace he went. I was sure glad to see him go, and I was really glad that he took that route. My chimney ain't ever been so clean.
So I doubt seriously that old Santa will be back anytime soon.
Santa ain't brought me nothing since I took shots at them doggone reindeer. Would have hit them if I hadn't had to dodge Reindeer droppings. A lot bigger than bird turds I can tell you.
Then that fat man in the red suit decided to slide his big butt down the chimney. I tried to tell him not to, but he did anyway. Slid down right into that pot of beans I had cooking over the fire. Sure did make a big brown mess on his purty red suit. Then he sit there, trying to figure out what happened and all that white furry fringe caught fire. So he was running around screaming and yelling about the brown stuff on his red clothes and the fire on the fringe, and I was chasing him trying to get the fire out before he caught the dadburn house on fire. All I had was the fireplace shovel, and I kept slapping at him with the shovel and he kept ducking trying to get away. I don't think he understood that I was just trying to put the fire out.
Well anyway, here we is, chasing each other around in circles, when these little fellars in green showed up. I thought it was Martians, sure nough, but it weren't. It was what they call elves, but I didn't know that at the time. I shot two of them before that fellar in the red suit with bean stains, and singed fringe told me that they was good elves and not to shoot anymore.
Then he stuck his finger in his nose and back up that fireplace he went. I was sure glad to see him go, and I was really glad that he took that route. My chimney ain't ever been so clean.
So I doubt seriously that old Santa will be back anytime soon.